Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
