normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Randomize
