420 ftw
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I just had sex on a roof
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
