TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
