I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
