i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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