Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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