I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
