What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
