My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
