I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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