I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
