He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
