he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
