I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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