got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
