I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
