It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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