im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
you would pick up someone in the library
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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