I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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