Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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