Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
