so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
