Ambien. No doubt about it.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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