you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
