honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
