It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
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