he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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