I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
