I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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