So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
