We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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