I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
