It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
