I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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