he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
