So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
