ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
