I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
