There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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