Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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