but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
