That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
