Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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