you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
