I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
being pregnant is like rehab
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
