Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
