I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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