He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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