What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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